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cindyhedelin

mystory | don't stop until you proud.

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ceha’s mystic world | hope, dream, fantasy, thought

When you are lonely…

Pernah ngga kamu denger temenmu bilang, “aku butuh pacar nih..” dan kamu ngerasa aneh karena temen kamu “BUTUH” bukannya karena dia lagi suka sama seseorang lalu pingin jadian, tapi dia butuh.

Instant kaget waktu aku denger temenku bilang seperti itu. Mungkin waktu itu persepsiku tentang boyfriend, husband, adalah seseorang yang ada untukmu bukan karena kamu butuh, it happens in natural way.

Namun as we grow older. I can actually relate with her. Terutama saat kamu kesepian dan bahkan orang terdekatmu tidak menjadi bantuan, support, penjawab masalahmu sama sekali. You longing someone. You will.

Malah terkadang orang yang kamu sama sekali tidak tahu mungkin lebih baik daripada orang yang sering kamu ketemui. Someone who can understand you from the start, rather than judging you because they knew you too well.

Lately that’s been like that with me. Daily job, stressed out because income unbalanced with inflation. Home, when I was busy with myself and my family wants me too. Feels like nuisance rather than a help. They are better without me and wont worry about me when I am abroad, that kind of feeling. I thought I was a leader, decision maker. Turns out I am complicating my own mind.

Anyway, aku pernah dengar ini ” if you don’t tell, they won’t know” yes, as it is. Kalau kamu tidak mengatakannya, mereka tidak akan tahu. Kamu pasti sering  jalan-jalan entah ke mall, ke sini situ dan lihat orang, lawan jenis yang menarik perhatianmu. Tapi 99.999% orang Indonesia, tidak akan melakukan apa yang namanya “boleh kenalan?” , “aku tertarik sama kamu, namaku xxx, apa kabar?”

That gonna be in my bucket list and I will do that someday!

This is a quite mixed up post. Hope it’s okay 😀

 

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Dream Of Big Bang 17082016

Yesterday might be too hard for me that today I dreamt of something that makes me very very happy. 

My family and I went to concert, but due to something I arrive late. We are at Philiphine that time.

As soon as the stadium (more like school event hall) opened, it have hundreds pf chairs with Big Bang performing in the stage. No security, no cameras, they have fun with two local dancers whom they do a simple collaboration with in each of their songs. 

GD wore loose sleeveless shirt, not much catching accessories, I don’t remeber the rest’s outfit but it was definitely not stage outfit, perhaps because it was too hot that time. Even me who only sits there drenched in sweats. 

The local mc also fun. Big Bang also sung some Indonesian song. I (omg I’m so stupid) can’t remember one Indonesian song that they sung. It was a very famous song sung by a female. GD starts off the performance and it stopped, and played again from the beginning. 

They even get down from stage once and I got my hand to be shaken by him. 

Not long after enjoying the performance, I was wake. So sad, but feel good as I can remember some part. 

I wish I have a happy day too today

Dream of you

People say, that dreaming something reflects about what you want, or it is things that now is happening and stick to your memory, good memories and bad ones can be the reason too.

But then, what if I dreamt of something that it didn’t cross my mind any single bit? It was yesterday night when I was fall asleep, I dreamt of meeting Taeyang. I was thinking of to get a full dark room so I can sleep soundly before go to bed, but how does it relates with him?

This is what I dream of:

So, it was a long big main road from a blocks of buildings (the buildings looks like in Europe or whatever you can imagine), it was very big until you can feel yourself small. I was walking straight with my sis and my family and I just see Taeyang (@realtaeyang) in front of me. He have a red-pink hair that time, that’s why I can recognize him. Although he tried to cover his face by wearing a cowboy hat, his clothing style is just showing “Hey, I am Taeyang” and just like that I go to the front and ask him to take picture with me. I ask my sis of a iPhone to take selcas, he actually feels abit worried (looks like) but he took the picture for us anyway. And he is sticking his cheeck into mine (in my dream, before I met him, I feel like reading articles about him being very close to fans). I was very happy! But then, other fans starts to recognize him and get in lines to take a pic with him. It’s just like 20 seconds and he is gone. “Yeah, he is celebrity, he is different” that’s what I thought at that moment. When I want to take another pics, he is already far there. Walking backwards.
So, I am over it and think that, it was enough. Don’t bother people too much. So, I just walk by and having a rest in one the middle of the street (there’s chairs and garden there, and you can see the other blocks too. And what I see is Taeyang, again! He is watching people who are performing dance, but now he wear a sleeveless hoodies, standing to the wall. I watch him watching the performance. Somehow, I can feel that he wants to join in, but then don’t want to create a mess because he is he. He decided to just having a walk in his block of road. I jumped out and run towards him. Link his arm with mine. I know this is crazy, but doing it anyway.

Up to now, I got the feel that he, sometimes wants to be normal, I mean, treated just like any other common people. He feels like he can show more but the rest are cheering him anyway which makes him caan’t get the feels. Suspecting that, I talk to him about being with me, might get him chances to be treated normal. First of all, change his hair color.

It’s back to black, I brought him to my (it feels like my house but it is a workplace too, you know dream can play with you or you play with it sometimes) workplace which is like my home already, to get to know people who don’t know him. He is following me there just fine. He learn how to assembly a led bulb from all the raw material until it finished. He gets totally focused on that and even talk with the staff like they were his team mates.

It wasn’t a long sweet dream, because after that, I supposed to go for some errands to do and then I was wake up.

I have dreamt of Seungri and GD, I think-before but not Taeyang. I can’t even imagine to dream of him before. Anyway, it was a good dream, too good to be true. I’ll leave it to that point

my very first blog, our ideas

Let’s put a weight of seriousness and hard work on this.

Hey Vina, this is my message to us in the future..

By the time we read this again in the future, I know that we already succeed with our simple plan. We wants our voice to be heard especially in Indonesia and we have made it by now. We start it unknowingly when we talk about random things in our room till dawn, but it is fun. I love that feels and how a person can match me so well. I am sure you had angry at me at some point of time, but it is not a matter, ’cause any human will do that somehow. I know we also have had some challenges before it works like this now. The matter is that we have went through it well.

Hey you! We Made Our Dreams into a Real Thing by Now! Let’s make others succeed too!

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