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cindyhedelin

mystory | don't stop until you proud.

Love at the first sight.. excite.

Chapter three

… OH ! I think I forget to mention that he sit in front of my food stand on the first day with his few friends, I think it’s five or six of them together…

cont. from Chapter Two – He sat quite long last time he come with his family, having a good dinner and come back. Best thing about that day was that he comes to buy drinks sold by my next-door-neighbor-shop so I get to see him more closely. I think he did catch a glance at me and so do I, it was exciting. I never know a simple glimpse leaves mark in your mind.

I kept looking at that table, where he and his family having their dinner together. As I takes care of the food stall with my cousin and a sister I know, I tried not to make it too obvious.

The time flies fast, and they are ready to go back. I just look at it from afar.

By the time I went back home, strangely I forget how all of them looked like. Usually a person face could stuck on my mind for long, especially if they have some unique feature, or some sort of story I know. Roughly remember the guy’s face, but not very certain of it. Wasn’t it strange? I feel strange too. Wish I was Doctor Strange, whom have a very strong visual memory.

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Thanks Social Media ! Thanks Facebook !

I was having a really bad day yesterday and today. My body doesn’t feel good, it feels heavy, cold and anxious and I was just seen my Mom posted her holiday on Facebook.

I used to think it’s quite bad for her to be on facebook by night time because she will look at her phone in the dark and she don’t have a good vision already. She isn’t actually a social type, she used to use her smartphone just to call, message only.

As my bad days kept rolling like a snowball, I was kindof bored and look at my phone notification. I see my cousin have birthday today and I congratulated her for that. When I click back to the timeline, I saw my Mum’s post of her holiday to Bali. I am not there, but it’s so cute and lovely  of her to enjoy the holiday after having a month of non-stop cooking-dish washing-ingredients shopping for an event we join in that makes me thought “I’m so glad we have social media here, I’m so glad we have facebook!”

That may sound cliche but it is what I really thought by then.

Anyway, I wish I could cheer up myself and escape from this bad-feeling-snowball

Love at the first sight, here we go again

Coming up with chapter two

The next day (I’m quite in loss of time as I was so busy running in my routine). he comes again with his whole family. I’m just guessing that they are his whole family as there is mum, dad, sister.

Guessing from his appearance, he seems to be younger than me, not too much, maybe one to two years difference. My analysis is on the first day I have seen him, he got back quite late, he shouldn’t be too much younger than me (were youngster these days all got back quite late? I have never spent my night over 7 PM without parents when I was in Junior High).

I think I really think too much of myself, I did feel that his mum were look at me, perhaps-pointing at me when her son was leaning on her whispering something. It could be the food I sell, or it could also be another thing. I think this situation can be explained in one sentence, I am a perfect timid girl.

 

Love at the first sight.. Never believe I’m gonna get one

I’m gonna share a true story here. I’m too timid to use Indonesian, so I will use English instead.

Chapter One

It was a crowded bazaar, Satnite maybeq.. when I first saw him. He is walking with few of his friend and just like that, I fall for him. I don’t even know a single thing about him but one thing for sure, I already like him…

My actual ideal type of guy physically kind of different with him. I like one whom are tall around 170+cm, white, looks neat, looks extraordinary that makes other girls and even guys turn around when he walk pass them. Somewhat stylish but not only “copy” the trend, instead follow or even lead the trend. Physically build but not very shown, vein could be seen from his arm. Serious type and also fun to be with. Not awkward. That’s the overall of how my ideal guy are.

But this guy, not quite tall, maybe about 168 cm in height. He is just in right height. Not quite white, I do quite care about this, white-skin people shown their unspoken-mysterious-charm for me (this might sounds racist, so sorry). I also not into old-styled haircut. He seems playful though been watching his phone quite a time. I think he does look at me but not sure whether it is because of me or my hair color, it’s quite bright.

Not sure were they (he and his friend) talk all night or just sit there, they went home around the time I close the bazaar stand too. I wonder were he wait for me? More likely not.

When you are lonely…

Pernah ngga kamu denger temenmu bilang, “aku butuh pacar nih..” dan kamu ngerasa aneh karena temen kamu “BUTUH” bukannya karena dia lagi suka sama seseorang lalu pingin jadian, tapi dia butuh.

Instant kaget waktu aku denger temenku bilang seperti itu. Mungkin waktu itu persepsiku tentang boyfriend, husband, adalah seseorang yang ada untukmu bukan karena kamu butuh, it happens in natural way.

Namun as we grow older. I can actually relate with her. Terutama saat kamu kesepian dan bahkan orang terdekatmu tidak menjadi bantuan, support, penjawab masalahmu sama sekali. You longing someone. You will.

Malah terkadang orang yang kamu sama sekali tidak tahu mungkin lebih baik daripada orang yang sering kamu ketemui. Someone who can understand you from the start, rather than judging you because they knew you too well.

Lately that’s been like that with me. Daily job, stressed out because income unbalanced with inflation. Home, when I was busy with myself and my family wants me too. Feels like nuisance rather than a help. They are better without me and wont worry about me when I am abroad, that kind of feeling. I thought I was a leader, decision maker. Turns out I am complicating my own mind.

Anyway, aku pernah dengar ini ” if you don’t tell, they won’t know” yes, as it is. Kalau kamu tidak mengatakannya, mereka tidak akan tahu. Kamu pasti sering  jalan-jalan entah ke mall, ke sini situ dan lihat orang, lawan jenis yang menarik perhatianmu. Tapi 99.999% orang Indonesia, tidak akan melakukan apa yang namanya “boleh kenalan?” , “aku tertarik sama kamu, namaku xxx, apa kabar?”

That gonna be in my bucket list and I will do that someday!

This is a quite mixed up post. Hope it’s okay 😀

 

Dream Of Big Bang 17082016

Yesterday might be too hard for me that today I dreamt of something that makes me very very happy. 

My family and I went to concert, but due to something I arrive late. We are at Philiphine that time.

As soon as the stadium (more like school event hall) opened, it have hundreds pf chairs with Big Bang performing in the stage. No security, no cameras, they have fun with two local dancers whom they do a simple collaboration with in each of their songs. 

GD wore loose sleeveless shirt, not much catching accessories, I don’t remeber the rest’s outfit but it was definitely not stage outfit, perhaps because it was too hot that time. Even me who only sits there drenched in sweats. 

The local mc also fun. Big Bang also sung some Indonesian song. I (omg I’m so stupid) can’t remember one Indonesian song that they sung. It was a very famous song sung by a female. GD starts off the performance and it stopped, and played again from the beginning. 

They even get down from stage once and I got my hand to be shaken by him. 

Not long after enjoying the performance, I was wake. So sad, but feel good as I can remember some part. 

I wish I have a happy day too today

The Perks of Having a Holiday !

My eyes are SUPER happy from my last recent holiday. Usually when going to vacation, people are too busy to check on the view, their own family so they don’t get lost, hotel, transportation, places to go, blablabla

During the last vacation, we go to our usual place, Genting High Land in Malaysia. Many people have come to there to having their vacation, most of them are Indonesian, Chinese (probably from China and Taiwan, I have no idea who are from where), some Indian, no Japanese seen, one Korean guy (looks like he is in business travel), others probably Singaporean and Malaysian.

I found myself relaxed a lot there, as if it is my home, walk around here and there. While in a holiday, I suddenly remembered that movie about someone travelling and she met a guy whom also travel alone, they fall in love blablabla~ at least that is what I remembered it. It’s been a long time ago so I am not too sure.

After remembering those scenes, what would normal people be? look around. yes. LOL. Hell yea, that’s what I do. Some people that looks attractive are not always very handsome, but someone who’s really good at their job is also attractive in my eyes. That definitely caught my attention. And there is a lot, there. HAHAHAHA I am being so honest right now. lol.

Anyway, that is what happen, call back those travel and love movie are inspiring, refreshing, and makes your heart beating for it, butterflies, imagination, thought, whatever is so much interesting and lovely!

Can’t wait for the next travel !

Tried out GYM for a month!

From 5th May onwards, I have been trying out gym for a month. It haven’t end just yet but I have been join some class which I want to share.

It all begins with my aunt saying there is a 200k gym membership for a month and ask me whether I want to join together with her. Before this I have always want to join gym after my 12 days diet meal plan ends but mom never give her consent. Actually I can just apply it myself, but I guess I am a family oriented girl which I always ask for consent for most of the time. This time, because my aunt ask for it and both of us actually work, I got a friend to go with eventhough it’s gonna be late, so its okay.

Back to the topic, first week joining, we tried to do yoga. My aunt have been going to gym for a whole year and loss more than 10 kgs. She loved to join yoga class befote, so she wants to join this fitness yoga class too. I know that wont be easy, but I never guess that would be this hard. I am giving up for yoga.

The next week, we see on the brochure that there is flying yoga. I heard and see before on Korean TV Program and I recall that flying yoga supposed to be so much fun. I can’t believe I am joining the class. It was so hard and we didn’t even get the hammock so for some pro-like movement, we do it on the floor. #feelabandoned the instructor wasnt that nice for a first timer but I guess that is only for me because when we about to join the class, it was already full but another participant was so excited to have few more members to join, about half of hour to fifteen minutes before the class the usual participant have been queuing for the hammock as it is limited. I guess they are having fun with it and they liked the class.

One of a class I liked is zumba. It was a vompilation of dance style. Hiphop, salsa, etc. I like dancing-like exercise more than the one you do slowly but squeezing your muscle-or-maybe-you-should-call-it-fat. Although I am not master the dance, I enjoy them a lot. Another one might be some kind of aerobic. I tried energy aerobic (that was the name I recalled), where the teacher said, begginer should starts with fat burner class than energy aerobic, and that was hard. It actually could be fun if the steps are not too long and or it taugh to new comer more.

Another class is RPM and its kind. First time joining the class, it was hell for my buttocs, it hurts. Second time was the same unless itnwas a bit better. Thris class is the best! I now know why it hurts. It was a bit too high (the pedal and the seat). RPM is a cycling class, indoor one of course, for you who don’t know.

Till this point, we havent tried the 2 time session with the instructor. It comes with the packages but we want to make it to the fuklest so we still pushing to do it as we still enjoy the classes.

They are so many more class in but due to time concern, many of them was not possible to try unless it is holiday.

Currently, that is what I do and I like now, I might liking the class I used to hate and probably happen otherwise. Bu one thing for sure is that exercise makes me feel healthier and more diligent. Fatigue from the still-not-used-to-it-muscles are there but the one from stress not really there. It supposed to slowly change your mind to be a healthier one, but I guess I still haven’t get the feel just yet. But, waking up very early (which s not really my thing) becomes possible after this.

Thanks for reading! Wish you guys also have a fun time, gym can kill time, also you might find more friends in the same interest (you know those muscle guys, they got close fast with each other especially when they shared their secret of their sixpack, or chest muscle, or arm and soulder muscle). Usually the one who have quite a muscle will share how to exercise to be muscular to a guy whom eager to be so.

Aunties are a lot, some of them looks hard to talk with, but many of them are open to talk with. I am open too, if youwant to talk to me. Just dont be awkward, or dont be suspicious. LOL, kidding. I will set my mind to “open minded” one so come and talk to me.

Pilih Kasih? WHATDAFUCK?!

So this is how it is, my fam and I were suppose to see my cousin’s daughter as she have been sick for 2 straight days. We went to the hospital by 9 or something as all of us works and it need time to went to the hospital.
It is quite known hospital but here is some thing I really don’t like about it. It might sounds bad but this is my opinion, this is what I feel, this is a democratic country and I have any right to express my opinion wasn’t it?

I were really pissed off when the security guy told me that one of us can’t go in because it is over the limit written by the front lady, by that actually my dad have come in and the remaining of us ask so we can go in.
I was like “fuck, fine I will stay behind”. Then I see a lot of people coming in and out, even the delivery guy came in and there is nothing he should do beforehand, while us, we have to make an excuse so that we can come in as it is already sleeping time (who the heck sleeps by 9pm?!).
When I were staying, I found that the place itself have a lots of mosquitoes, (what kind of hospital that will make you become sick by getting bitten by mosquitoes) just  dark, the air was hot and the aircon were not well distributed.

The front office were loud, the chairs are not comfortable, it will let you tired when you sit normal way, and it wont also wont work when you tried to lying down.

Not long after that, I saw a bunch of people coming in and out, they dont fucking need to fill the form nor get blocked by that guard. Then I saw my other cousin coming in, then they told me to go with them, I didn’t see them filling up the form to ask for request to go in, then I just follow them. Not even a 20 meters, that guard showed up again and tell me to wait by the lobby. I said what is the matter of one more person coming in? I mean, a lot of people comes in and they dont need to state their reason, and got in JUST LIKE THAT, WHILE THEY NEED ME TO DO SO. What is wrong with these guys? It is our first time in this hospital so we probably acted awkward, but then i they are going to do this, they should do it right, do it for all of those people who come in just like that, documentation! Then I wouldn’t complaint.

Their act is SOOOO UNREASONABLE (I mean that they let a lot of people to come in just like that but won’t let me to do so).

They even only open half the door when it is five of us, what the fuck, you have problem with your door?

You let other people! I am friggin just see it with my own eyes and they didn’t ask a thing?! Are they regular? HAH! what da fuck is wrong with you?

Two things I disappointed the most, Security guards and Mosquitoes.

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